I Hereby Grant You Permission
28 Jul
Are you waiting for permission?
For years (and even now, if I’m honest) I waited for permission.
I needed confirmation from this person or an OK from that authority. I needed someone to say my idea was good enough, that I was on target or at least getting close.
And then it hit me.
I was waiting for reassurance that my idea would be accepted. But by whom?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized there wasn’t a committee in the sky judging whether or not my idea was good enough. There wasn’t a single, all-knowing voice granting or denying me permission.
There wasn’t a set of guidelines that said: Yes, you are savvy enough or smart enough or worthy of this. Go get ‘em tiger.
In truth, I was free to do what I wanted to do. It was OK.
I didn’t need someone else to tell me to go for it. I didn’t need someone else to do it first. I didn’t need anyone’s approval.
If something sounded good, I was free to try it . Of course, it might not work. But that isn’t the point.
The point is freedom. There was no more waiting, only ideas to mold and plans to enact.
I hereby grant you lifelong permission.
I know I’m different from most (don’t get me started!), but chances are good that you’re waiting just as I did.
You’re waiting for approval, for acceptance, for permission.
And though you don’t need any of that, I’m giving it to you just in case the message above isn’t enough to soothe your worrisome mind.
I grant you permission.
I grant you permission to be yourself. I grant you permission to take that brilliant idea you have and run with it. I grant you permission to live outside the norm and to hop-skip-jump to the beat of your own quirky drummer.
I grant you permission to do things you’ve never done.
I grant you permission to reach out to other people in ways you never have, pushing yourself past where it feels comfortable, but where it feels real.
I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.
I grant you permission to stop doing what you think we want you to do. We don’t want you to do that anyway.
I grant you permission, my friend, to do, to be, and to have all the things that quiet little voice of hope whispers in your ear.
Don’t wait. Don’t linger. Make something happen.
You can do it. It’s OK.
Thanks Jason.
Dear BBK,
You’re very welcome.
If there’s anything you want me to cover in particular, just let me know by e-mail or here in the comments.
Jason
Very true and very kind of you to remind us all these things. Your words remind me that the most important thing is to believe in me. I’m the architect of my future.
Thanks and best regards.
Dear Cristina,
You’re right–you have to believe in your ability to make something happen. Doubt may seem trivial, or a nagging nuisance, but it’s devastating.
An ounce of doubt can poison pounds of effort.
You gotta believe…
Jason
Hi Jason, I love this, this message was meant for me. Be blessed
rose
Dear Rose,
So glad you liked it.
Moment of honesty: I also wrote it for me.
I still struggle with this waiting game, even though I know waiting is foolish.
Thank you so much for leaving your comment. Blogs live on comments, so you’re helping keep me alive.
Jason
Jason
Jason, I enjoyed your message and it is very true and it reminds me that the most important thing is to believe in me. Thank you
Maria!
Welcome to the blog and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I couldn’t be happier to have you here.
You hit the nail on the head–I’m only here to remind you of the things you already know.
Jason
Hi Jay,
Great message!! A significant birthday of mine will be here in a matter of days and I wil use your ‘no permission’ as my new ‘mantra’
Tks. Happy Birthday to me!
Mel
7/28/2010
Mel,
Happy Birthday!
I’m honored that you’ve adopted the ‘no permission’ mantra for the next year of your life.
What would be even better is for you to return here and share stories about how you’ve used the mantra to make a change in your life.
Jason
Thanks Jason. This message definitely makes me wonder at the decisions that I have made till now and how influenced or biased they have been because of my desire of approval by others. This message definitely gives me a fresh perspective to think about my actions and decisions henceforth. Thanks for opening my eyes. Please keep up the good work and keep enlightening us.
Ridi,
What an insightful comment.
Now you have me thinking…
Jason
Wow, I like that.. being granted permission is pretty powerful…and empowering.
Bless you and your family..
Lorrie
Dear Lorrie,
Thank you so much for your note.
The idea is simple, but it really can make a change in your life…if you let it.
Jason
OMG Jason! That is me in a nutshell. I have always waited for someone to approve what I wanted to do. I don’t anymore, no one will give it to me anyway. Thank you for your permission.
Stephanie,
This is the perfect note.
You are a active example of today’s post, which helps the point sink in more and more.
And I love your ending: no one will give it to me anyway.
Exactly.
Jason
Thanks! I’ll use that permission today.
Dear Mary,
I’m going to hold you to that. : )
Jason
Thanks Jason..Im from Sri Lanka…have you heard of that country before..what you are telling is universal. could be applied at any part of the world.thanks again for enlightening my whole life
Dear Venura,
I certainly have heard of Sri Lanka and you’re right, the ideas about living a simpler, better life often are universal.
As human begins we are granted the permission to act freely by being born. Unfortunately others can steal or subdue that freedom. But, if you’re free from oppression, you’re free to think and be and do.
No permission necessary.
Jason
You are so right, Jason! Thank you for empowering us with your message “I Hereby Grant You Permission.”
I, too, have always waited on someone else for approval, acceptance, or permission before I did something.
I am glad that, today, you reminded me that I am free to try out new things on my own. I wouldn’t know if it will work unless I try it, and if it doesn’t, so what if I make a mistake, it is OK because I have the freedom to try again at something else.
I will remember, Jason, not to wait on anyone for permission.
Thank you, again.
Star,
Thank you for your comment.
You’re right: if you make a mistake, who cares? And if they do care, why?
Your life is just that–yours.
We’ll all free to do what we want to do (keeping in mind the needs family and our responsibilities, etc.).
I appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts and can’t wait to hear from you again soon.
Jason
You know, I have found from my experiences that the things I am most recognized for (professionally)and the things I am most proud of (personally) where bold decisions I just went for without asking around whether others thought it was a good idea.
I have also found that I waste so much time waiting for others to give me their permission or “approve” whatever it may be I am working on. Life is short – there is no time to waste! Trust your gut and go for it!
We all need to be reminded of this from time to time!
Thanks Jason,
Amy,
I loved your post. Loved it.
I just wrote about the idea, but you’ve lived it. You are proof, which makes me look good.
‘Life is short–there is no time to waste!’
I couldn’t have said it better.
Jason
I’m going to mull this over. I KNOW I needed to read it, and I KNOW I need to heed the advice. But it’s not easy to jump in….
Deena,
You’re right. It’s not easy, but I think that’s clear evidence that it’s the thing you have to do.
I heard an interview with Seth Godin where he said fear is his ally in making decisions. When he feels the fear well up, when he gets uncomfortable and wants to walk away, he knows that is the right thing to do. His own biological reaction to the unfamiliar guides him to the hardest–and best–decisions.
Jason
Great one there Jason. I luv it, thanks.
Hi Dominic,
Thanks for your note!
Jason
Hi Jason,
I have been coming to the same conclusion myself – recently in particular. It has been dawning on me that I am essentially living my life for and through other people by needing their approval. I have been reliant on it for so many years it has become an ingrained issue of mine. Having just taken the scary leap to finally go self-employed I know now that I can’t constantly seek other peoples’ approval because I am in charge of my own destiny. Plus by feeling that I need someone else’s approval it is a ‘get out clause’ so that there is someone else to blame if things go wrong. Well I am the only person who can make things right or wrong and the buck stops with me! So I am learning to pat myself on the back (because no-one else will) and damn it feels good!
Thanks for reminding me that I am not the only one out there who has felt like this
Dear Jen,
I have to start by congratulating you on taking the leap. It’s scary, often terrifying, but incredibly rewarding. Freedom comes with a price, as you know, but boy it feels good.
I loved your point about relying on others being another excuse to cover up our fears or failures. (I should have come up with that!).
But you’re right, absolutely. If we believe we can’t move until someone says ‘go,’ we can point the finger at them every time. “It’s not my fault I didn’t do more with my life, no one told me I could.”
It should be clear now, Jen, you are definitely not alone. I’m with you, dozens of the other commenters are with you, and the thousands who read this post are with you. (And the millions who don’t yet know how great we are over here at Motivation123.com are with you too.)
Here’s a well-deserved pat on the back for you and a wish that you’ll share your thoughts time and again.
Jason
Thank you Jason for ur message. It is just what I needed at this moment in time. I have been doing some work on myself recently particularly around co-dependency and realise that I have waiting for permission and approval all my life. So for me it is about changing me and my own deep issues and it has come to point where I really dont have much choice.
Anne,
Sometimes it comes down to that, doesn’t it?
We reach the point when we have no choice, we have to change and push ahead.
I’m happy to hear you’ve been working on your life–it’s rare–and I’m happy to hear that you’ve reached the point of no return.
You don’t need approval. You don’t need permission. You just need to move.
Jason
Hey Jason!
God Bless You! I needed to hear exactly what you sent to me. I will try that an see if I can force myself to actually to do something. Janet
Janet,
You certainly can do it.
Start small. Then take a slightly bigger risk.
Then a another one, bigger.
And on and on.
At each stage your confidence will expand and you won’t be who you once were.
You can do it.
Jason
Thanks Jason!
This is the best ever!
Dear Leia,
Thanks so much for your kind note.
I can’t tell you how much it means to me.
Jason
Thanks Jason for the simple yet profound message.
Suraj,
It’s always the simple messages that both get overlooked and are needed more than any other, isn’t it?
Thanks for your note…keep them coming.
Jason
Hi Jason, thanks so much for your beautiful message. It was wonderful and was what I needed to hear and to believe.
Cheers
Hajar,
I’m happy to share the message you needed to hear.
But I need you and the others just as much. Your readership and contributions make this work.
I couldn’t do it without you.
Jason
Hi Jason,
I really enjoy reading the article. It was awesome. Yeah, I always like to seek for other people’s approval before I could do anything. Now, I am crystal clear that I want to put down my pen and do what I love (and getting money out of it)..isn’t that ‘fun’tastic?
Thank you so much for sharing and your article really inspire me to do something that I should do long ago.
Best regards.
Dear Aini,
This is great news!
But now that you’ve promised to put down your pen and start doing what you love, you’ve got to follow through.
You’ve got to do it, and now.
(Like, right now.)
Jason
Hi Jason
Thank you for the insightful letter. It really hit home.
B,
Happy to help and happy to have you on board.
Thank you for your membership. It really means a lot.
Jason
I believe you write some great stuff. It is always appreciated. Please check out ,my website and leave some comment. It would e appreciated.
Dear Luciano,
Thanks for your note. I’ll be sure to check out your site asap.
Jason
Well, I’m in the peak of the waiting game Jason and I’m very touched by what you wrote it’s very true. I am my own future I am my own idea I am my own brilliance!
thank you
Dear Nour,
You’ve got it. You are all the permission you need. They’re your ideas, your feelings, your hopes. No one else needs to chime in and tell you you’re OK.
Thanks for sharing!
Jason
Jason,
This message is so powerful and yet so true! Thanks for your honesty, it helps to know someone else understands!
Dear Kim,
I’m not good at much, but I’m certainly good at relating to anyone who has struggled to change, because I have.
I’ve waited for permission (sometimes still do), but I think that together we can push each other to take the hard step and make something happen, no matter how scary that might be.
Jason
re:
I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.
I grew up being explicitly told that I had no right to be angry, or to challenge being treated unfairly. Obviously I internalized that message because your permission literally made me gasp and, wide eyed, on the exhale I uttered a stunned “Oh! Permission.”
WOW!, thank you Jason.
By silly comparison, some years ago I was teaching my bird a new quotation:
“Be who you are and say what you think,
because those who mind don’t matter
and those who matter don’t mind.
Doctor Seuss”
When a friend who is a surgeon came to dinner the bird, who learned new sayings in snippets, finally said his first version:
“Doctors don’t matter, doctors don’t mind”
The exhortation to speak out which I taught to my parakeet is somehow harder to act on, requiring more courage, than hearing “you have permission.” Moreover, hearing that from a caring coach (you), who one can trust has the best interests of all of us at heart, who is helping us clarify and map our journey toward achieving our dreams … well, I can accept that permission, embrace it, and trust it.
And what I am feeling now is gratitude & freedom. Thanks
Dear Bee,
That was a wonderful letter.
First, your story was hilarious! I love that you were teaching your bird Dr. Seuss quotes.
Second, your wrap up really touched me.
With all this technology standing between us it’s important to remember that live human beings are on the other end.
Real people feeling real things.
Thank you for keeping that at the front of my mind. I do care about you and the rest of our tribe, very much. I want to help you do the things you want to do and, in turn, each of you help me.
It’s a wonderful thing we’re building here, and it’s a wonderful feeling being a part of it.
Thank you for your post, Bee. You just made me want to try harder.
Jason
Prescient and pefectly timed. Thanks Jason.
Tony,
Thanks so much for your note.
It’s people like you that make this a community, and it’s community that makes this whole thing work.
Jason
Yes, you are right. I’ve faced a lot of difficulties just to see, who is there to accept my idea, but there was no one. Even God did not accept me. In the early part of 2010, I changed my mind; and now I am going my own way. Getting many little successes which I wanted and I am looking forward to get bigger successes. But one thing, I could not understand my whole life, why other people build hurdles in my life – I did nothing to them. By nature, I am not a person who wants or does any thing wrong to anyone. Everybody whom I trusted, shocked me.
Now I trust nobody – only trust myself!
Thanks! you are going great. Infact these things, only that person can tell who have felt/passed these situations. Thanks again.