Motivation123 Blog

Are you waiting for permission?

For years (and even now, if I’m honest) I waited for permission.

I needed confirmation from this person or an OK from that authority. I needed someone to say my idea was good enough, that I was on target or at least getting close.

And then it hit me.

I was waiting for reassurance that my idea would be accepted. But by whom?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized there wasn’t a committee in the sky judging whether or not my idea was good enough. There wasn’t a single, all-knowing voice granting or denying me permission.

There wasn’t a set of guidelines that said: Yes, you are savvy enough or smart enough or worthy of this. Go get ‘em tiger.

In truth, I was free to do what I wanted to do. It was OK.

I didn’t need someone else to tell me to go for it. I didn’t need someone else to do it first. I didn’t need anyone’s approval.

If something sounded good, I was free to try it . Of course, it might not work. But that isn’t the point.

The point is freedom. There was no more waiting, only ideas to mold and plans to enact.

I hereby grant you lifelong permission.

I know I’m different from most (don’t get me started!), but chances are good that you’re waiting just as I did.

You’re waiting for approval, for acceptance, for permission.

And though you don’t need any of that, I’m giving it to you just in case the message above isn’t enough to soothe your worrisome mind.

I grant you permission.

I grant you permission to be yourself. I grant you permission to take that brilliant idea you have and run with it. I grant you permission to live outside the norm and to hop-skip-jump to the beat of your own quirky drummer.

I grant you permission to do things you’ve never done.

I grant you permission to reach out to other people in ways you never have, pushing yourself past where it feels comfortable, but where it feels real.

I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.

I grant you permission to stop doing what you think we want you to do. We don’t want you to do that anyway.

I grant you permission, my friend, to do, to be, and to have all the things that quiet little voice of hope whispers in your ear.

Don’t wait. Don’t linger. Make something happen.

You can do it. It’s OK.

The Spanish have a proverb:  Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Clever wordsmiths, those  Spaniards.

We all procrastinate. We dawdle and delay, dally and defer. My  office floor is still home to a pile of papers that needed filing two months  ago; I’m waiting for them to stop dallying and file themselves.

Whatever  the task, whatever the excuse, the tips below will help you do today what most  people put off to next month.

1. Ask yourself, What’s the holdup? People  procrastinate for many reasons. Some fear failure. Some avoid boring jobs.  Others shy away from getting tangled in a complicated mess (i.e., my pile of  papers). Knowing the cause of the problem may open your eyes to an obvious  solution.

2. Do you need to do it? Simple question, but it’s a good one.  Sometimes we put something off because it’s not important. If you don’t really  need to do it, free yourself of the mental burden and drop the task from your  to-do list.

3. Ask for help. I have an ancient window mechanism that  takes the effort of a drawbridge operator to open. Last month, unsurprisingly,  it broke. Someone had to fix it, but I was hoping that someone wasn’t me. So I  put it off.

After weeks of gazing at the window without actually doing  anything, I asked a friend to help. It wasn’t only because I have the mechanical  skills of an uncoordinated squid; I knew it would get me moving.

4.  Commit just five minutes. That’s it–just 300 seconds. Telling yourself you only  have to do something for a sliver of time does two things.

It transforms  a big job into a tiny matter: Five minutes? I can do that. And because getting  started is the hardest part, once your five minutes is up you’ll often drive  right on through to the finish.

5. Focus on the end. Thinking about how  you’ll feel when you’ve done whatever needs to be done may motivate you to make  it happen.

I don’t much like to organize, but I love to be organized.  This is what I focus on–the feeling of having everything in its place, clean  and tidy–when I need to declutter a space. Although my pile of papers proves  that I have some work to do.

6. Just do it. Quit stalling. Quit  rationalizing. Stand up, walk to the danger zone, and get to work.

Just Released! The Procrastination Report will teach you simple tips and tricks to stop putting things off and start making things happen.

You can get it free for a short time here: http://www.motivation123.com/procrastination-report.html

Do you procrastinate? Put things off to tomorrow that you could do today?

You’re not alone.

One study found that 95% of people occasionally procrastinate. You’re in good company.

So why do we do it?

Though many theories are out there, here are four common reasons we put stuff off.

1. We think it’s difficult: When the task seems hard to do, we naturally avoid it in favor of something easy. This explains why so many tax payers wait until April 14 to get down to business.

2. We think it’s time consuming: With our time always in short supply, something that seems ready to gobble large blocks of time is going to be set aside. “We’ll have more time on the weekend,” we say, “so we’ll tackle it then.”

3. We think we don’t know enough: Few people like to make mistakes, so instead of taking real action we turn to study and research. We keep learning more (from the safety of home) until we feel safe to start. Then, when we feel ready…we learn some more.

4. We think people will judge us: Engineers don’t get engineer’s block; accountants don’t get accountant’s block. But writers? Oh, they get blocked. And one possible reason is the fear of getting criticized. Because they worry so much about what people will think, they put off the writing, or, worse, work themselves into a lather that we call writer’s block.

The solution to these problems? As simple as it sounds, just tell yourself the opposite. (I told you it would sound simple.)

We talk to ourselves–a lot. Often it’s everyday chatter about what we’re going to do or what you would have said to that nasty Target cashier if given a second chance. But we also talk ourselves into procrastination.

When a task or chore or goal pops into our heads, we often run through one or more of the common traps above. We convince ourselves, even before starting, that it’s going to be hard, or time consuming, or mistake prone, or judged.

That’s why a new conversation–a controlled conversation–is so helpful. You can stop the problem before it has a chance to kick in.

The next time you have to do something, consciously tell yourself:

1. It’s not so hard.

2. It won’t take that long.

3. I’m sure I can do it, or at least learn as I go.

4. No one really cares about what I’m doing; they’re worried about their own problems.

One more tip.

A study in the December 2008 edition of Psychological Science found that people are more likely to put things off when they focus on WHY they should do it as opposed to HOW it should be done.

When tax time rolls around–or anything else you habitually put off–think about concrete ways to get it done. Don’t worry about the why.

So what do you put off? How do you beat procrastination? Let us know in the comments below!

Seth Godin–former VP Direct Marketing for Yahoo!, creator of Squidoo.com, writer of the most popular business blog in the world, author of ten best-selling books, and one of the most popular speakers around the globe–”sat” down with me for an interview (via e-mail) about his latest book, Linchpin.

JG: I’d like to begin by thanking you on behalf of myself and my subscribers. We appreciate your time and willingness to share your thoughts. You’ve said that Linchpin is the most important book you’ve written, your life’s mission. What is that mission? Why did you write it?

Seth: There’s a massive change going on in our world, a revolution. It’s the death of the industrial era, and a lot of people, innocent people, are getting hit hard by the changes that are happening.

I think there’s a huge opportunity here, a chance to make a difference and to find one’s calling, and I felt as though my readers could take advantage of it… if they could only see how the rules have changed.

JG: An idea that many can relate with–especially those looking for motivation–is the concept of the lizard brain. Can you describe that for us?

Seth: The lizard brain is an actual part of our brains, a pre-historic vestige responsible for fear and anger and revenge and reproduction. The lizard brain wants you to fit in, not stand out, to play it safe and to not be laughed at.

It’s pretty clear that back in the day, this was a good survival strategy. It isn’t any longer.

JG: Fear is the number one obstacle to change. It keeps our goals and dreams at bay and works hard to maintain the status quo. Though every approach to overcoming fear is unique, how do you personally quiet the lizard?

Seth: That’s a lizardy question, because whatever I do won’t work for you, thus giving the lizard an edge! I think the general idea is to either defeat it through force of will, create systems that fade the volume or just sit with it and let it freak itself out because you refuse to join in.

JG: Many people are stuck in a routine that saps the life out them. They want to be passionate about something, but aren’t sure what that something is. What do you say to those waiting to find their “thing” before acting and shipping? (Shipping, in Seth’s terms, is about making things happen. Ship your ideas, get them out the door.)

Seth: There isn’t one thing. If we had taken Catcher in the Rye away from Salinger, he would have written something else. If Steve Jobs hadn’t done the Mac, he would have done something else. Ship, relentlessly.

JG: There seems to be a powerful thread connecting your recent work. What is the driving force behind that work, the purpose you hope to achieve?

Seth: I think we are living in a revolution, one fraught with risk or filled with opportunity. Will we use it create a better world, treat people with respect, race to the top and do work we’re proud of? Or will we rationalize a race to the bottom?

JG: You can tell so much from a man or woman by their greatest dream and greatest fear. So, what is your greatest dream? What is your greatest fear?

Seth: They’re the same. To use this moment to leverage these ideas in a way that somehow is worthy of the chance I have.

JG: You’ve certainly done that, Seth. Without doubt. I want to thank you again for taking the time to talk with us and bring us all one step closer to becoming linchpins. I know I speak for everyone reading when I say we can’t wait to have you back.

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This was the first of several interviews with Seth. I’ll let you know when the next is scheduled and posted. Until then, please check out his site, his blog, and Linchpin. Visit: http://sethgodin.com/

More than anything else, fear keeps us stuck in the routine. Fear makes sure you do what you did, every day. So the only way to change, the only way to do something new, is to beat fear. How do we do it? Seth Godin has an idea.