Motivation123 Blog

Ask the right questions and you’ll find the answers you need.

They’re amazing things, these “questions.” Merely speak the words and immediately our minds chug away, seeking out responses; it’s how we’re built.

The problem is that most people don’t know the ‘right’ questions to ask.

So here’s one I think is right.

Ask Yourself

What would you do if you had only 90 days to reach your goal or you would lose what you cared about most forever?

From clueless dreamers bumbling about, we become focused actors ready to pounce on any opportunity we see.

When the stakes are high enough, we find the answers we need.

Three questions.

1. What–PRECISELY–do you want?

2. Why–PRECISELY–do you want it?

3. Why–PRECISELY–don’t you want it?

(Wait, don’t want it? That’s right. I believe you want whatever you want, but I also know there are reasons you don’t want to do what it takes to get it. You’re afraid…to give something up or to push yourself past your comfort zone. Until you know what’s holding you back, you can’t get past it. That’s why it takes all three answers to get motivated.)

Some are good at basketball.

Some are good at poker, or needlepoint, or driving me crazy.

But we’re all great at storytelling.

We tell ourselves why it’s okay to stay in a job we hate. We tell ourselves why it’s okay to tuck away our great idea for another month. We tell ourselves it’s okay to stick right where we are, where it’s safe, sound, and secure.

We’re good at it, but we’re often wrong. It’s not always safe to do the “safe” thing–because that safe thing will eat away years of your life. It will keep things from changing, advancing. It will keep you precisely where you are.

Is that precisely where you want to be?

Some people are masses of stone with flat bottoms. They’re not going anywhere, no matter how hard we push.

Some people are like you.

They’re on the brink, at the edge, so close to the tipping point that they can see it, taste it. But they’re not there yet. They need help. They need a nudge.

And with that nudge, the match is lit and ideas explode into action.

Here are 17 nudgers to help you stop thinking about something and, instead, DO.

1. Scary Math

Minus your age from 75, then multiply by 52. That’s how many Thank-God-It’s-Fridays you have left, on average. It’s easy to forget how quickly our days disappear, working so hard to stay distracted and all. For right now, at this moment, don’t distract yourself. Do the math.

2. It Can Happen Now

Different seems hard. It’s easy to do what you’ve done, get what you’ve gotten. But change? That’s an uphill climb, a battle against nature, an impossible fight. Or is it? (No, it’s not.) When you believe that change is a brick wall that climbs miles into the air–and that it takes forever–well, those are heavy obstacles to ignore. But it’s all a lie. Every second is a new start. Yes, that sounds rah-rah motivational (which I try to avoid at all costs), but it’s fact. You could stand up a new person. You could do something different in the next moment. Change doesn’t have to take a lifetime; it starts right now. So start.

3. Going, Going, Gone

Another warning. (Sorry, I don’t mean to be a downer, but the fact is that fear motivates. And if it motivates you to change your life for the better, it’s a good thing.) Many people (perhaps you?) could do something about the things you want to have or be or do. Yes, I know you’re scared. I know you have a thousand excuses. But, still, you COULD do something if you really wanted to, or had to. That’s true now, but it won’t always be. Opportunities come and go all the time and without notice. “I’ll do it later,” you tell yourself. Eventually, that won’t be an option. Eventually your chance will be gone. Take a stab while you still can.

4. Happy-Happy, Joy-Joy

Finally, a happy idea. Think of something you want–you want to get motivated, so you obviously want something, right? Now think of the strongest reason you want it. What will it give you? How will it change you? How will it make you feel? What will life be like when you move toward and finally make it real? There’s your motivation.

5. You are an Example

Are you a good one? Do you have children? Would they be proud to know you have a dream that you’re too afraid to enact? Is that the example you want to give them? You’re an example, perhaps not to sons or daughters, but to someone. A friend. A co-worker. A human. Be an example that inspires us to be better.

6. Get Psyched

Think about it: if you get good at this, if you learn the skills behind motivation, your life is whatever you want it to be. You get crayons and a bright sheet of blank paper. What are you going to draw? That’s totally up to you, and that’s incredible. Life is hard, life is short, but life is also yours to mold. You can live where you want to live, eat what you want to eat, see what you want to see, go where you want to go, be who you want to be. If you learn how to get motivated, you can make anything happen. That’s exciting.

7. Make Smart Comparisons

Want to kill your drive? Compare yourself to someone who isn’t as happy, motivated, charitable, creative…”Well, at least I’m better off than that guy.” At that moment, in that instant, the pressure to be better is released. You’re comfortable again. You feel good about where you are. “Yeah, things could be improved, but I can’t complain.” You need to complain. You know what you’re capable of. You know what you could do if you only had the guts. So don’t compare yourself to situations and people you don’t want to emulate. Compare yourself to someone or something bigger and better. Compare yourself to someone who isn’t afraid and who gives life to ideas. Are you that person yet? Then get to work.

8. It is Up to…

YOU. People may help. Opportunities may drop near your lap. Dumb luck might smack you in the face. But you–yes, you–are going to have to make it happen. If it’s going to be, it’s going to be through your hands, your courage, your heart.

9. What If?

What if you fail? What if you keep putting it off (whatever ‘it’ is) for years, decades, a lifetime? What is it going to cost you? How much worse is your life going to be? Who are you going to let down? How will it feel to let yourself down? Make it painful. Make it hurt. Then make sure it doesn’t happen.

10. Is It Going to Kill You?

I know you’re afraid. I am too. We’re all scared to do something new or to put ourselves out there for everyone to judge. But will it kill you? Will it kill you to stand up for an idea that everyone else laughs at? Will it kill you to sing or play piano, go back to school as a mom or dad, start a blog around your passion, dress in that snazzy hat you love, talk to a stranger? Uncomfortable? Sure. Make you feel sick to your stomach? Maybe. But that’s how you live. You don’t sit in your comfy chair, far removed from the activity of the world. You get up. You do things, new things. You put yourself into the mix and drink up everything earth has to offer. It’s scary, but it’s worth it.

11. I lied.

I only had ten ideas to share. But I made a promise, so I have to get to work on more tips and idea for you. It’s the power of a promise. Tell someone, today, that you’re going to do this or that. You’ll create something that wasn’t there before. You’ll create pressure–positive pressure–and you’ll create an obligation. Someone knows your plans now. She expects results. Don’t let her down. (Okay, that was a tip, so I didn’t really lie. But I did end this post with a twist to keep you guessing.)

Now it’s your turn: What is the greatest tip you have for getting motivated quickly? Let us know in the comments below.

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If you liked this post, why not share it with someone who could use a nudge? Maybe one of your friends is at the brink of doing something big. But, right now, he’s wavering. The idea could die. But not if you save it.

One of these tips, or a tip from the comments below, could be the nudge he or she needs to change everything. You could be the vehicle that creates a shift that alters their lives forever. Not a bad way to spend your Wednesday afternoon.

Thousands of years ago, when we were hashing it out with big-toothed cats, our fear response made perfect sense.

When trouble loomed, our internal systems leaped into action. Our breathing sped up, our hearts pounded, our attention snapped into focus. We were on heightened alert, tingling with anxious anticipation. Everything was seen through the filter of danger, of a potential threat to our survival.

As I said, it worked well back in the day. But when our daily threats changed from big cats to the big presentation, those responses weren’t as helpful.

Our bodies are wired for our past, keeping you average in the present.

Doing work that matters, following your passions, changing your ways, stepping up and doing the right thing…these can be frightening experiences. As such, they set off your fear responses. Your brain is telling you you’re in danger and so you back down.

You stay right where you are, where your brain thinks it’s safe. Sure, you’re unhappy, stifled, bored, and settling for a sub-par life, but you’re safe. Or so your prehistoric brain thinks.

This is no way to live. Imagine what you could do–would do–if you weren’t afraid (Of the non-threats, of course. If a bear is eating your lunch, be afraid).

You’d start that business instead of making excuses. You’d pitch your idea instead of researching just one more day. You’d launch that blog you’ve been thinking about instead of talking yourself out of it, once again. You’d be the person you’d look up to instead of fitting in and fading out.

The old response is keeping you from the better life that’s just around the corner. Below are a few tips to help put that knee-jerk reaction in check.

1. Give It a Name: The fuzzier it is, the bigger it seems. A vague feeling of dread is like a fog: it expands and surrounds us. The actual issue might be small and unlikely, but as that vague feeling it seems unbearable.

The antidote? Define it. Write down on a sheet of paper the details of what scares you. What, exactly, do you think is going to happen? And why, exactly, does that scare you?

Nine times out of ten, you’ll realize the big fear is actually a small matter. And, just like that, the “threat” will be stripped of its worrisome sting.

2. Reframe It: This is a good one. In his book Iconoclast, author Gregory Burns, M.D., Ph.D., outlines the mind of those men and women who aren’t afraid to do the unexpected, the unfamiliar, the outrageous (and courageous). One of the things that set them apart is how they reframe their bodies response to fear.

The average person feels the butterflies in his stomach and says, “I’m nervous. I’m freaking out. I can’t do this.”

The iconoclast feels the same butterflies and says, “I’m ready.”

They take the same responses and mold them into a different story. They give fear a different meaning. It doesn’t mean danger or a time to back down. The heart beating, the palms sweating mean they are stepping up and doing the right thing. It’s a sign that they’re doing something that matters.

They take the cue and take action.

3. Tire It Out: Studies have shown that our brains can’t stay afraid for an extended period of time. It’s such an intense reaction, it gets tired. So, when you do the thing that scares you, those crazy feelings won’t last forever. You body will adjust. You’ll calm down.

Knowing this in advance, you can tell yourself that you might feel incredibly anxious now, but it won’t last for long.

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Want more help? I stumbled upon this great Web site that I know you’ll love. It’s an online magazine of sorts, all geared toward helping you beat down the fears that keep you paralyzed.

You can get their latest issue here: http://fearlessstories.com/

That’s all for now.

Talk soon,

Jason

Today I’m going to ask you something.

It’s a simple question, but powerful nonetheless. It can quickly snap you out of any rut and motivate in just a few seconds.

It works so well because we like to fool ourselves. We say, “I really want (fill in the blank), but it’s going to have to wait. Someday, I’ll make it happen.”

The truth is that it won’t happen, not if we continue following the same routine.

But that’s not fun to think about, so we rationalize and deceive ourselves and ultimately lock our hopes away in a pretty little basket called someday.

Today’s question is a wake-up call, if you let it sink in. So do yourself a favor and let it.

Ask: If I don’t change what I’m doing each day, will I ever get what I want?

Are your daily actions bringing you closer to your goals? If not, don’t expect things to change anytime soon.

It might feel good in the moment to believe in someday, but you can’t hide from the truth–you have to do something different to get something different.

If what you’re doing today isn’t going to bring you closer to what you want, stop fooling yourself. Start doing something different.

Something to think about–so what do you think? Let me know in the comments. And if you enjoyed the video, spread the word using the Share Me links below. Thank you!

Seth Godin–former VP Direct Marketing for Yahoo!, creator of Squidoo.com, writer of the most popular business blog in the world, author of ten best-selling books, and one of the most popular speakers around the globe–”sat” down with me for an interview (via e-mail) about his latest book, Linchpin.

JG: I’d like to begin by thanking you on behalf of myself and my subscribers. We appreciate your time and willingness to share your thoughts. You’ve said that Linchpin is the most important book you’ve written, your life’s mission. What is that mission? Why did you write it?

Seth: There’s a massive change going on in our world, a revolution. It’s the death of the industrial era, and a lot of people, innocent people, are getting hit hard by the changes that are happening.

I think there’s a huge opportunity here, a chance to make a difference and to find one’s calling, and I felt as though my readers could take advantage of it… if they could only see how the rules have changed.

JG: An idea that many can relate with–especially those looking for motivation–is the concept of the lizard brain. Can you describe that for us?

Seth: The lizard brain is an actual part of our brains, a pre-historic vestige responsible for fear and anger and revenge and reproduction. The lizard brain wants you to fit in, not stand out, to play it safe and to not be laughed at.

It’s pretty clear that back in the day, this was a good survival strategy. It isn’t any longer.

JG: Fear is the number one obstacle to change. It keeps our goals and dreams at bay and works hard to maintain the status quo. Though every approach to overcoming fear is unique, how do you personally quiet the lizard?

Seth: That’s a lizardy question, because whatever I do won’t work for you, thus giving the lizard an edge! I think the general idea is to either defeat it through force of will, create systems that fade the volume or just sit with it and let it freak itself out because you refuse to join in.

JG: Many people are stuck in a routine that saps the life out them. They want to be passionate about something, but aren’t sure what that something is. What do you say to those waiting to find their “thing” before acting and shipping? (Shipping, in Seth’s terms, is about making things happen. Ship your ideas, get them out the door.)

Seth: There isn’t one thing. If we had taken Catcher in the Rye away from Salinger, he would have written something else. If Steve Jobs hadn’t done the Mac, he would have done something else. Ship, relentlessly.

JG: There seems to be a powerful thread connecting your recent work. What is the driving force behind that work, the purpose you hope to achieve?

Seth: I think we are living in a revolution, one fraught with risk or filled with opportunity. Will we use it create a better world, treat people with respect, race to the top and do work we’re proud of? Or will we rationalize a race to the bottom?

JG: You can tell so much from a man or woman by their greatest dream and greatest fear. So, what is your greatest dream? What is your greatest fear?

Seth: They’re the same. To use this moment to leverage these ideas in a way that somehow is worthy of the chance I have.

JG: You’ve certainly done that, Seth. Without doubt. I want to thank you again for taking the time to talk with us and bring us all one step closer to becoming linchpins. I know I speak for everyone reading when I say we can’t wait to have you back.

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This was the first of several interviews with Seth. I’ll let you know when the next is scheduled and posted. Until then, please check out his site, his blog, and Linchpin. Visit: http://sethgodin.com/

More than anything else, fear keeps us stuck in the routine. Fear makes sure you do what you did, every day. So the only way to change, the only way to do something new, is to beat fear. How do we do it? Seth Godin has an idea.