The thought of having a passion is exciting.

You’ll feel alive and useful. You’ll be eager to act and grow. You’ll love your life.

Sounds good. What’s more, it’s true.

But that doesn’t make finding your passion any easier. We might all agree that it’s an exciting idea, but few people know their purpose.

They–you–need the sticky test.

Waiting for the Bug to Bite

Here’s the problem: people treat passion like a cold; they wait for it to catch them.

Wait around long enough and you’ll stumble upon ‘your’ thing.

People do it all the time, but does it make sense?

You can’t wait for the answer. That’s not how it works. You have to do something. You need the sticky test.

(I know, second time I mentioned it without telling you what it is! Your patience has paid off. It’s up next. : )

The Test

The answer, as with most things like this, is simple.

The only way to find out what interests you–or what lights you on fire–is to try it. You have to put yourself in the mix of things and see which ideas…wait for it…stick.

(I told you it was simple.)

You have to do things, a lot of them, and see how you respond. It’s the only way to know for sure what your path is.

You can sit and think for years, trying to mentally work through your talents and strengths and values, trying to match them to activities and interests. (And still be completely wrong about what connects with you.)

Or you can get up, join in, and do stuff. Then see how it goes.

I Knew It

I know what you’re thinking. You wanted some amazing insight or grand discovery. But I have a question: if the solution is so simple, why aren’t you doing it?

Why aren’t you constantly trying new things?

Why aren’t you writing or blogging or dancing or drawing or racing or climbing or teaching or reading or crafting or painting or playing or speaking or leading or helping or singing?

If you are, congrats. Ignore me and keep going.

If you’re not, why?

Better yet, when are you going to start?

The Bottom Line

We’ll only know what we’re passionate about when we try it and see how it makes us think and feel.

You can’t guess. You can’t just think. You definitely can’t wait.

You have to jump in the waters of many lakes.
Cal Newport of Study Hacks recently wrote a post about this topic for the popular blog Zen Habits. His thoughts sum things up perfectly:

In other words, discovering passion requires a dedication to unstructured exploration. You have to leave large swathes of free time in your schedule (a technique I call underscheduling), and fill this time with the exploration of things that might be interesting. Of equal importance, when something catches your attention you must leverage your free time to aggressively follow up.

As Caldwell’s research reveals, true passion can’t be forced. You can participate in personality tests and self-reflection exercises
until you drop from exhaustion, but it’s unstructured exploration coupled with aggressive follow-ups that most consistently leads people to a life-consuming interest.

Do a lot. See what sticks.

Everyone talks about goals.

(Well, not everyone, but a lot of people.)

And when they do, they rarely talk about the most important part. They talk about being specific and measurable. They talk about being segmented and shared.

But they never talk about the ‘right’ goal.

Yes, some goals are good and some goals are bad. Terrible, to be honest.

The wrong goal can stress you out, make you miserable, and leave you feeling like a complete failure. Oh, and they’re nearly impossible to achieve.

So what makes a goal good and what makes a goal bad?

The right goal is simple: it’s YOUR goal. It’s something you want because of what it will make of you and what it will deliver. This is key to motivation. YOU have to want IT. That is the engine of drive.

The advice might sound easy, but it’s rarely followed. Instead, people choose a goal for all the wrong reasons, four of which stand out among the crowd. We’ll cover what they are below and wrap up today’s issue with the reason they’re so dangerous.

When you’re thinking about going after a goal, never, ever choose one because you want to…

1. Gain acceptance.

If you set out to change your life or make something big happen just to fit in, you’ll fail. Or, if you win, you’ll lose. You won’t get that
sense of accomplishment that comes from working toward the things that matter to you most.

2. Reach someone else’s goals.

This happens all the time. Johnny is going to engineering school because Dad was an engineer. Does Johnny like it? Not at all. But he doesn’t want to let his dad down.

(Grammar Nerd Alert: You’ll notice dad is capitalized first but not second. The first instance was used as a proper noun and the second as a common noun. Lesson over.)

3. Avoid rejection.

We all want to fit in so badly that we’ll dart to the ends of the earth to do it (because that’s where our friends are jumping off bridges).

Because of this ingrained need, we say we want to do things that we don’t really want to do. We even go beyond talk and start doing something about it. But it’s not our goal, and that’s why it can never deliver what we want.

4. Undermine.

‘I’ll show him.’ That’s how it starts. Someone thinks we can’t do something, so we take on the goal just to prove him wrong. Bad idea.

Why should these reasons be avoided?

Disconnection.

When you want something because you want it, you have internal motivation. You’ll get out of bed early, push your muscles to the breaking point, and do what needs to be done because you want the outcome of the effort.

Every step forward, no matter how painful, is worth it. It’s bringing you one step closer to what you want.

There is a direct connection, an absolute link between what you want, what you do, and what you get.

When your goal is to please or fit in or undermine, you don’t want the goal. You want a side effect.

So instead of the hard work bringing you directly closer to what you want, it’s just work. Work you don’t enjoy. And when you succeed, if you can squeeze out a victory, the success is empty. You didn’t want the goal to begin with.

How motivated would you be to read the phone book? (What if everyone was doing it?)

Motivation survives on your wanting something for its own sake. Not to please, not to undermine, not to fit in, and definitely not to reach someone else’s 
goals.

The next time you want to change your life, make sure it’s for the right reasons.

I have something special for you today.

If you haven’t heard of him yet, Chris Guillebeau is an incredibly gifted writer, entrepreneur, and world traveler who has a simple goal.

He wants to travel to every country in the world (already 125 down) while helping people like you and me ‘live unconventional lives, make their own choices, and change the world.’

Not a bad way to live.

I wrote to Chris about a particular article I thought you would like. He graciously gave me permission to reprint it below.

For more from Chris and his unconventional way of thinking, visit his Art of Non-Conformity blog at ChrisGuillebeau.com.

Enjoy!

Jason

The Decision to Be Remarkable

by Chris Guillebeau

re-mark-able [adjective]: worthy of being noticed, especially as being uncommon or extraordinary

***

If you want to break out of the mold of average, the first thing you need to do is to make a decision to be radically different. Most remarkable people are people of action, and for a good reason: if you don’t take decisive action, nothing will ever change.

But this first step is entirely mental. It calls for a clear decision to rise above the culture of mediocrity. And then, of course, it calls  for action.

How do you decide to be remarkable?

1. Stop making excuses. Just stop. No one wants to hear why you couldn’t do something, so make a conscious decision to stop talking about it.

2. Take responsibility. This is the opposite of giving excuses. Take responsibility for your own success, and take responsibility for the  success of projects you work on. When something goes wrong (it usually does), take responsibility for that too.

3. Start questioning rules and expectations. Always ask questions and pay close attention to the answers you hear back. Some good starting questions are: Why is this rule in place? Who benefits from this rule being followed? What are the consequences if I don’t follow this rule or meet this expectation? What is the worst thing that could happen if I don’t follow this rule?

4. Find work that you love and do it well. Depending on who you are, this requires up to two big changes in your life: first, you have to find work that you love, and second, you have to do it well. Do it better than expected and people will be amazed.

5. Begin living your own life. This is what it’s all about–the life you were meant to live. If  you don’t know what that is yet, start looking for it. Why would you want to live someone else’s life?

6. Take it up a level. Take what’s already working well and exponentially add to it. Grow your business 300%. Apply for the position of CFO when you’re the Accounts Payable Clerk. Visit five countries instead of one on your next trip (or if you want to explore one place well, stay three weeks instead of one).

Beware of Excellence

But watch out: being remarkable is addicting. It’s like regular exercise or healthy eating. When you first start a new exercise routine or diet, the adjustment is hard for a while. But after about 3-6 months of following it consistently, you build up a natural addiction to it.

Once you get used to regular exercise, you’ll feel bad when you’re not doing it. The same is true with being remarkable: do it once, and it’s scary. Do it a few times, and you love it. Stop doing it, and you’ll get depressed.

Many remarkable people deal with depression and anxiety all the time because they see the world differently than average people do. Their own failures and perceived failures are magnified. When others say, “Don’t worry about it,” they can’t understand why someone would think something like that. For this reason, a lot of geniuses throughout history have been chronically depressed.

Those are the hard things—and you also have to think about the critics, the skeptics, and the competition. We’ll come to those later. On the other hand, there are some great benefits to being remarkable:

HELP FROM A COMMUNITY

As you proceed with your plans for world domination, or whatever you want to do, you’ll be naturally drawn to others who have made the same decisions to be different. Even better, they’ll be drawn to you. You’ll learn from them and vice versa.

Whether you live in the Dilbert Cube, the Ivory Tower, the public sector, or are out there on your own somewhere, there are lots of ways to be remarkable. The specific application is up to you, and when you choose to make your own way, other people who “get it” will seek you out.

Remarkable people are all minorities in a world of average living.

HELP FROM THE UNIVERSE

You’ll find help in all kinds of unexpected places and from people you never knew before. No one really knows how this works, practically speaking. It’s okay; just accept the gifts that are given to you. They are given for a reason.

The Brazilian writer Paulo Coelho put this best:

“When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

All you need to do is 1) start something, and 2) stick with it long enough to see results.

WHAT GOES UP STAYS UP

Instead of shrinking over time, your vision will actually get bigger. The funny thing about big goals is that they often take less time to achieve than you expect, and once you achieve them, you’ve already mentally moved on to bigger and better goals. As you proceed with questioning authority, building your army, achieving your goals, and helping others, the vision keeps expanding.

This is why it is not much more difficult to grow a business from $1,000 a month in sales to $10,000. The challenge is in getting that first $1,000 together.

This is why artists scrape together a meager living for an average of seven years before being noticed. Most of them drop out along the way, but for those who stick with it, all of sudden they’re selling paintings for $8 a square inch. (And by the way, art that sells for $10,000 isn’t always better than $100 art hanging in the coffee shop.)

This is your personal tipping point—not when everyone else starts adopting a new trend and makes it mainstream, but when everything comes together for your own vision. But you have to get in the game first, and you can do that by being remarkable.

***

Of all the steps required to change the world in the way you see fit, the decision to be remarkable is the most important. With this decision in place, other variables can be changed. Don’t rush this—it’s a big commitment.

Once you make the commitment, you need a vision to change the world. What will it be? Whatever you choose, make sure it’s remarkable enough to suit every gift you have ever been given. Once you decide to defy the expectations of being average, there will be a lot riding on your ultimate success.

Oh, and one final thing: don’t expect everyone to understand your decision, because plenty of people won’t get it at all. Don’t worry about them. Just be remarkable.

###

Reprinted with permission from Chris Guillebeau: writer, entrepreneur, and world traveler helping to change the world through his Art of Non-Conformity Blog at ChrisGuillebeau.com.

Are you waiting for permission?

For years (and even now, if I’m honest) I waited for permission.

I needed confirmation from this person or an OK from that authority. I needed someone to say my idea was good enough, that I was on target or at least getting close.

And then it hit me.

I was waiting for reassurance that my idea would be accepted. But by whom?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized there wasn’t a committee in the sky judging whether or not my idea was good enough. There wasn’t a single, all-knowing voice granting or denying me permission.

There wasn’t a set of guidelines that said: Yes, you are savvy enough or smart enough or worthy of this. Go get ‘em tiger.

In truth, I was free to do what I wanted to do. It was OK.

I didn’t need someone else to tell me to go for it. I didn’t need someone else to do it first. I didn’t need anyone’s approval.

If something sounded good, I was free to try it . Of course, it might not work. But that isn’t the point.

The point is freedom. There was no more waiting, only ideas to mold and plans to enact.

I hereby grant you lifelong permission.

I know I’m different from most (don’t get me started!), but chances are good that you’re waiting just as I did.

You’re waiting for approval, for acceptance, for permission.

And though you don’t need any of that, I’m giving it to you just in case the message above isn’t enough to soothe your worrisome mind.

I grant you permission.

I grant you permission to be yourself. I grant you permission to take that brilliant idea you have and run with it. I grant you permission to live outside the norm and to hop-skip-jump to the beat of your own quirky drummer.

I grant you permission to do things you’ve never done.

I grant you permission to reach out to other people in ways you never have, pushing yourself past where it feels comfortable, but where it feels real.

I grant you permission to say what you think and to feel what you feel.

I grant you permission to stop doing what you think we want you to do. We don’t want you to do that anyway.

I grant you permission, my friend, to do, to be, and to have all the things that quiet little voice of hope whispers in your ear.

Don’t wait. Don’t linger. Make something happen.

You can do it. It’s OK.

Who wants to be authentic or successful or outstanding or passionate or evolving when it’s so much easier to be average?

Just in case you struggle with lowering your sites and settling for less, here’s 7 tips to get you started down the path of mediocrity.

1. Worry About What Others Think

Live for the approval of others. Do what you think they want–or won’t notice. Check each of your decisions by the benchmark of group acceptance.

2. See the Finished Product

Be overwhelmed by success. See only the clean and shiny after-pictures instead of the small steps that made it possible.

3. Do Safe

Don’t take risks. Small, medium, or large. Instead, live safely in the cocoon of seeming comfort. If you’ve done it before, keep doing it. And only it.

4. Think ‘Forever’

Treat each opportunity–or life overall—as infinite. Put things off today because, hey, you can always do it tomorrow. Don’t rush. Don’t hustle. Wait. Wait until it feels just right. Then keep waiting.

5. Compare Down

Compare yourself with people who have less, give less, do less. This will make you instantly feel better. It will also keep the pressure off. As long as you’re not drowning, there’s no need to kick hard.

6. Keep It Fuzzy

Don’t mess with your fears. Keep them just how they are: fuzzy and heavy. Let that vague feeling hold you back and scare you. Let those unclear doubts make your stomach twist and legs freeze. Don’t reduce your fears to their facts. Keep ‘em fuzzy.

7. Make Failure Permanent

Always, always, always see failing as a final fall. If you mess up–game over. You can’t get back up, you can’t brush yourself off. You are done, and you look like a fool for trying.

Follow these simple tips and you too can be average! (Or do their opposites and start to live a better, more exciting life.)

Ask the right questions and you’ll find the answers you need.

They’re amazing things, these “questions.” Merely speak the words and immediately our minds chug away, seeking out responses; it’s how we’re built.

The problem is that most people don’t know the ‘right’ questions to ask.

So here’s one I think is right.

Ask Yourself

What would you do if you had only 90 days to reach your goal or you would lose what you cared about most forever?

From clueless dreamers bumbling about, we become focused actors ready to pounce on any opportunity we see.

When the stakes are high enough, we find the answers we need.

Three questions.

1. What–PRECISELY–do you want?

2. Why–PRECISELY–do you want it?

3. Why–PRECISELY–don’t you want it?

(Wait, don’t want it? That’s right. I believe you want whatever you want, but I also know there are reasons you don’t want to do what it takes to get it. You’re afraid…to give something up or to push yourself past your comfort zone. Until you know what’s holding you back, you can’t get past it. That’s why it takes all three answers to get motivated.)

Some are good at basketball.

Some are good at poker, or needlepoint, or driving me crazy.

But we’re all great at storytelling.

We tell ourselves why it’s okay to stay in a job we hate. We tell ourselves why it’s okay to tuck away our great idea for another month. We tell ourselves it’s okay to stick right where we are, where it’s safe, sound, and secure.

We’re good at it, but we’re often wrong. It’s not always safe to do the “safe” thing–because that safe thing will eat away years of your life. It will keep things from changing, advancing. It will keep you precisely where you are.

Is that precisely where you want to be?

Some people are masses of stone with flat bottoms. They’re not going anywhere, no matter how hard we push.

Some people are like you.

They’re on the brink, at the edge, so close to the tipping point that they can see it, taste it. But they’re not there yet. They need help. They need a nudge.

And with that nudge, the match is lit and ideas explode into action.

Here are 17 nudgers to help you stop thinking about something and, instead, DO.

1. Scary Math

Minus your age from 75, then multiply by 52. That’s how many Thank-God-It’s-Fridays you have left, on average. It’s easy to forget how quickly our days disappear, working so hard to stay distracted and all. For right now, at this moment, don’t distract yourself. Do the math.

2. It Can Happen Now

Different seems hard. It’s easy to do what you’ve done, get what you’ve gotten. But change? That’s an uphill climb, a battle against nature, an impossible fight. Or is it? (No, it’s not.) When you believe that change is a brick wall that climbs miles into the air–and that it takes forever–well, those are heavy obstacles to ignore. But it’s all a lie. Every second is a new start. Yes, that sounds rah-rah motivational (which I try to avoid at all costs), but it’s fact. You could stand up a new person. You could do something different in the next moment. Change doesn’t have to take a lifetime; it starts right now. So start.

3. Going, Going, Gone

Another warning. (Sorry, I don’t mean to be a downer, but the fact is that fear motivates. And if it motivates you to change your life for the better, it’s a good thing.) Many people (perhaps you?) could do something about the things you want to have or be or do. Yes, I know you’re scared. I know you have a thousand excuses. But, still, you COULD do something if you really wanted to, or had to. That’s true now, but it won’t always be. Opportunities come and go all the time and without notice. “I’ll do it later,” you tell yourself. Eventually, that won’t be an option. Eventually your chance will be gone. Take a stab while you still can.

4. Happy-Happy, Joy-Joy

Finally, a happy idea. Think of something you want–you want to get motivated, so you obviously want something, right? Now think of the strongest reason you want it. What will it give you? How will it change you? How will it make you feel? What will life be like when you move toward and finally make it real? There’s your motivation.

5. You are an Example

Are you a good one? Do you have children? Would they be proud to know you have a dream that you’re too afraid to enact? Is that the example you want to give them? You’re an example, perhaps not to sons or daughters, but to someone. A friend. A co-worker. A human. Be an example that inspires us to be better.

6. Get Psyched

Think about it: if you get good at this, if you learn the skills behind motivation, your life is whatever you want it to be. You get crayons and a bright sheet of blank paper. What are you going to draw? That’s totally up to you, and that’s incredible. Life is hard, life is short, but life is also yours to mold. You can live where you want to live, eat what you want to eat, see what you want to see, go where you want to go, be who you want to be. If you learn how to get motivated, you can make anything happen. That’s exciting.

7. Make Smart Comparisons

Want to kill your drive? Compare yourself to someone who isn’t as happy, motivated, charitable, creative…”Well, at least I’m better off than that guy.” At that moment, in that instant, the pressure to be better is released. You’re comfortable again. You feel good about where you are. “Yeah, things could be improved, but I can’t complain.” You need to complain. You know what you’re capable of. You know what you could do if you only had the guts. So don’t compare yourself to situations and people you don’t want to emulate. Compare yourself to someone or something bigger and better. Compare yourself to someone who isn’t afraid and who gives life to ideas. Are you that person yet? Then get to work.

8. It is Up to…

YOU. People may help. Opportunities may drop near your lap. Dumb luck might smack you in the face. But you–yes, you–are going to have to make it happen. If it’s going to be, it’s going to be through your hands, your courage, your heart.

9. What If?

What if you fail? What if you keep putting it off (whatever ‘it’ is) for years, decades, a lifetime? What is it going to cost you? How much worse is your life going to be? Who are you going to let down? How will it feel to let yourself down? Make it painful. Make it hurt. Then make sure it doesn’t happen.

10. Is It Going to Kill You?

I know you’re afraid. I am too. We’re all scared to do something new or to put ourselves out there for everyone to judge. But will it kill you? Will it kill you to stand up for an idea that everyone else laughs at? Will it kill you to sing or play piano, go back to school as a mom or dad, start a blog around your passion, dress in that snazzy hat you love, talk to a stranger? Uncomfortable? Sure. Make you feel sick to your stomach? Maybe. But that’s how you live. You don’t sit in your comfy chair, far removed from the activity of the world. You get up. You do things, new things. You put yourself into the mix and drink up everything earth has to offer. It’s scary, but it’s worth it.

11. I lied.

I only had ten ideas to share. But I made a promise, so I have to get to work on more tips and idea for you. It’s the power of a promise. Tell someone, today, that you’re going to do this or that. You’ll create something that wasn’t there before. You’ll create pressure–positive pressure–and you’ll create an obligation. Someone knows your plans now. She expects results. Don’t let her down. (Okay, that was a tip, so I didn’t really lie. But I did end this post with a twist to keep you guessing.)

Now it’s your turn: What is the greatest tip you have for getting motivated quickly? Let us know in the comments below.

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If you liked this post, why not share it with someone who could use a nudge? Maybe one of your friends is at the brink of doing something big. But, right now, he’s wavering. The idea could die. But not if you save it.

One of these tips, or a tip from the comments below, could be the nudge he or she needs to change everything. You could be the vehicle that creates a shift that alters their lives forever. Not a bad way to spend your Wednesday afternoon.

Thousands of years ago, when we were hashing it out with big-toothed cats, our fear response made perfect sense.

When trouble loomed, our internal systems leaped into action. Our breathing sped up, our hearts pounded, our attention snapped into focus. We were on heightened alert, tingling with anxious anticipation. Everything was seen through the filter of danger, of a potential threat to our survival.

As I said, it worked well back in the day. But when our daily threats changed from big cats to the big presentation, those responses weren’t as helpful.

Our bodies are wired for our past, keeping you average in the present.

Doing work that matters, following your passions, changing your ways, stepping up and doing the right thing…these can be frightening experiences. As such, they set off your fear responses. Your brain is telling you you’re in danger and so you back down.

You stay right where you are, where your brain thinks it’s safe. Sure, you’re unhappy, stifled, bored, and settling for a sub-par life, but you’re safe. Or so your prehistoric brain thinks.

This is no way to live. Imagine what you could do–would do–if you weren’t afraid (Of the non-threats, of course. If a bear is eating your lunch, be afraid).

You’d start that business instead of making excuses. You’d pitch your idea instead of researching just one more day. You’d launch that blog you’ve been thinking about instead of talking yourself out of it, once again. You’d be the person you’d look up to instead of fitting in and fading out.

The old response is keeping you from the better life that’s just around the corner. Below are a few tips to help put that knee-jerk reaction in check.

1. Give It a Name: The fuzzier it is, the bigger it seems. A vague feeling of dread is like a fog: it expands and surrounds us. The actual issue might be small and unlikely, but as that vague feeling it seems unbearable.

The antidote? Define it. Write down on a sheet of paper the details of what scares you. What, exactly, do you think is going to happen? And why, exactly, does that scare you?

Nine times out of ten, you’ll realize the big fear is actually a small matter. And, just like that, the “threat” will be stripped of its worrisome sting.

2. Reframe It: This is a good one. In his book Iconoclast, author Gregory Burns, M.D., Ph.D., outlines the mind of those men and women who aren’t afraid to do the unexpected, the unfamiliar, the outrageous (and courageous). One of the things that set them apart is how they reframe their bodies response to fear.

The average person feels the butterflies in his stomach and says, “I’m nervous. I’m freaking out. I can’t do this.”

The iconoclast feels the same butterflies and says, “I’m ready.”

They take the same responses and mold them into a different story. They give fear a different meaning. It doesn’t mean danger or a time to back down. The heart beating, the palms sweating mean they are stepping up and doing the right thing. It’s a sign that they’re doing something that matters.

They take the cue and take action.

3. Tire It Out: Studies have shown that our brains can’t stay afraid for an extended period of time. It’s such an intense reaction, it gets tired. So, when you do the thing that scares you, those crazy feelings won’t last forever. You body will adjust. You’ll calm down.

Knowing this in advance, you can tell yourself that you might feel incredibly anxious now, but it won’t last for long.

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Want more help? I stumbled upon this great Web site that I know you’ll love. It’s an online magazine of sorts, all geared toward helping you beat down the fears that keep you paralyzed.

You can get their latest issue here: http://fearlessstories.com/

That’s all for now.

Talk soon,

Jason